Putting Holes in Happiness
by Cainsley
Summary: Set in a time before and after the Joker became notorious for his crimes, we follow the story of a woman who was once very close to him, and her story now. Seren Grace Ainsley never thought her life would fall to pieces, but it did in its entirety at the hands of a madman. Rated M for Sex, Violence, Language, and basically any other reason you can think of for an M rating.


**Putting Holes in Happiness**

**Chapter 1**

_**Disclamer: I do not own any characters belonging to DC Comics, or the Batman Series, etc. I only own my lovely OC, Seren Grace Ainsley:)**_

The fresh pack of Marlboro Lights slams in my hand as I smack it back and forth between my palm and the metal table, which my other hand is chained to. The man sitting across from me, shrouded by darkness, flicks open a silver zippo lighter. The flame springs to life and sparks the crumpled death stick withering between my painted lips. This is not the first time I have been in an interrogation room, and after tonight, I highly doubt it will be the last. I inhale slowly; consuming the smoky fumes which have slowly begun to consume my body. I draw the cigarette back away from my mouth, and examine the newly tainted filter that supposedly makes the cancer stick "better for you." A year ago, it wouldn't be slathered with the shade of red it is now coated in. A year ago, it wouldn't have my DNA on it. Hell, a year ago, my lips wouldn't be anywhere near the damn thing. But a lot can change in a year, and a lot has.

My slate-colored eyes meet the detective's. His are the exact color of the filth that lines the streets of Gotham, this cesspool of a city which crime thrives on. Here, the Joker is the reigning King of terror, and anyone wise enough to know this also knows not to mess with him. But, I never was very wise.

"I see this is not your first time in here, Seren," he looks at me like he has any room to talk. The smirk that distorts his face makes me gag. Earlier, when Detective Bullshit arrested me, he took his sweet time to take extra special care in patting me down for any weapons, spending most of it to feel my breasts and backside for possible "dangerous paraphernalia." I, unfortunately, already know this man, and I know that his actual name is Detective Phillip Johns, but I happen to prefer the nickname I gave him earlier.

"You're very observant, Detective. You see a lot. But, why don't you point that high powered perspective back at yourself and tell me what you see? Or maybe you're afraid to." At my sarcastic remark, the smug grin drops from the detective's face. Mine broadens, and his shit-colored eyes narrow to slits, puzzling together his idea of what he thought I was in here for.

I flip my dark hair out of my eyes. My hair now resides above my ears with not even a speck of the previous red lowlights which had tinted my tresses before. It is all a black, serrated mop that hides part of my face away from the world now. The jagged bangs which once covered half of my face now reveal piercing eyes as I flip them out of my face. My blue orbs are filled with swirls of darkness and hatred. I hate this man. I hate my life. I hate everything and everyone in it, and now that I have my chance, I will make them all regret the day they ever decided to leave me behind to be eaten by the dogs.

I wasn't always like this. No; once upon a time, I was the epitome of femininity. Long curls of auburn flooded down my back, ending just below my breasts which I displayed often with pride. My blue eyes sparkled with love and laughter; not a trace of hatred or disgust tainting them in the slightest. My name was -well is- Seren Grace Ainsley. I know, quite a garble of a mouthful, but it's the one I was "blessed" with. Back then, I didn't have a problem with it. But now, I know it will follow me forever from place to place, haunting me into the dawn of every new day.

A gold band used to grace my left ring finger below a brilliant white engagement ring. At that point, my husband and I had been married a little less than half a year, a shotgun wedding in preparation for our newest soon-to-be addition.

My stomach was swollen at the seventh month mark; my hips and inner thighs laced with light white stretch marks. Badges of pride and strength I would bare for my baby son. We even had a name picked out. His name would be Chase Hunter Napier, a manly moniker for my future little manly man. I already loved him more than I could possibly ever imagine. Already, he was my husband's pride and joy.

My husband and I had met at (hold the romance) a bar. Not just any bar, in fact, this bar was a gay bar.

_I tapped the black and white plaid shirt covering the back of the man in front of me. I wanted a partner, and this one looked like a possibility. It is Halloween, my favorite time of the year. This is the one night when anyone can truly be who they want to be, who they secretly are, and not face judgment. Tonight, I am clad in a classic Cat costume, complete with the slutty short-skirt-low-cut-shirt ensemble, and faux cat claws. The man in front of me is dressed as a Lumberjack. "Oh great," I think to myself, "another gay Lumberjack. I swear if I hear another offer to help carry someone's load of wood I'll-"At this point, my thoughts are interrupted, as a gorgeous man with dark hazel eyes and light blonde hair turns to face me. He flashes a pearlescent smile and thrusts a lightly tanned hand towards me. _

"_Well, helloooo beautiful, my name is Jack Napier, and I'm betting if I buy you a drink, you'll tell me yours." He stretches out the "hello" in a way which makes me giggle, much to his delight._

_I eyed him suspiciously as I decided to accept his handshake along with the offer of a free drink. _

"_Well, if you want to get me into bed, then it's just Seren. But if you want more than that, then it's Seren Grace Ainsley. It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Jack Napier." I returned his brilliant grin with one of my own. _

"_Seren Grace Ainsley it is then," my new acquaintance replies. _

_At the use of my full name, my smile expands to fill my entire face, as I now know his intentions are more than what could be said for the rest of the crowd in here tonight. _

"_So you're not gay then?" I pry slightly. He whips around to face me, surprise scribbled across his chiseled face. _

"_Hardly, I mean, I did just offer to buy you a drink while calling you beautiful. I'd say that makes me pretty straight in my book. Not that I have a problem with anyone who is gay, clearly." he says, with a look that screams "I hope I didn't offend you." We walk out of the crowd we were in the middle of. The main reason many of the people, myself and Jack included, came to this particular bar, aka The Catwalk, tonight, was to hear Gotham's latest alternative band play for the first time at a 21+ only venue. I'd been dying to see them play, but I knew I couldn't deal with a screaming gaggle of teens without bitch slapping one of them, so I waited until they were scheduled to play for a more adult crowd. Along with being over 21, I am also bisexual, another reason for being at The Catwalk, and I am on the hunt for a partner, man or woman, and I think I have found the perfect one for tonight._

_I laugh lightly, a musical sound erupting from my mouth at his previous cringe. The band begins their alternative-sounding cover of the song "Get Lucky" by Daft Punk, and I sway my hips gracefully to the rhythm as we walk. We had reached the bar now, and a male bar tender with false lashes on greeted us with the standard exhaustion of a bar keep tending to a full house. I order a Vodka Tonic on the rocks with a twist, and Jack requests a Bourbon and Coke. _

"_A rather bitter drink there, eh girly?" Jack questions me._

"_Well, you've got to taste some bitter things in life to know the difference from the sweet ones." I answer._

"_How very poetic of you Ms. Ainsley, are you always that deep?" The way he looks at me, I know Jack has initiated a light sexual double entendre, wondering if I'll catch on or not._

_I do, and I smirk with my reply, "Oh Mr. Napier, you have no idea."_

_An hour later, we are far beyond drunk, in the back alley behind the bar. His lips are everywhere. Connecting with mine, smudging the pink hue I had earlier shaded my lips with, all over my chin and neck. My breath hitches as I claw at his ridiculous plaid flannel, scrambling to rip the buttons open to feel his strong arm muscles and abs. He yanks down my tight pleather skirt and pushes me up against the brick wall of the alley. My legs wrap easily around his upper body, even though I am 5'10". Jack is an extremely tall man, so this isn't a problem for him in the slightest. His belt has become unbuckled somehow in the process of all of this, and I can feel his throbbing ache against my thigh, begging for release. He kisses and sucks on my neck even more, working his way down to my breasts as he unclips the clasp of my black leather bra top I've been wearing all night. Jack barely stops for a second before the tips of my breasts are in his mouth and his hands. I moan loudly, and whisper his name in his ear, trying to excite him further. I succeed, and I feel the bulge in his pants growing harder with anticipation. He licks his fingers before lowering them inside my underwear, pushing them aside so he can start pulsing inside me; preparing me for his full length. I feel myself begin to get wetter and wetter; I am putty in his hands. "Oh God, Jack, make me come, please!" I beg him, need filling my eyes. He growls and begins to fuck me with his fingers harder, relentless in his strength, fulfilling my need. I climax hard, screaming loudly in the alley, as he whispers in my ear "Good girl. Now, it's my turn, Sweet Seren." He flips me around so my ass is now facing him, my hands pressed up against the brickwork. Jack runs his hands down my arms, trailing them slowly down my back and waist lightly. He smacks my ass, hard, before he takes one of my legs in his hands and extends it upward easily, allowing him access to my inner wetness. I hear him behind me, pulling his boxers down swiftly with one hand. "Shit!" He curses in my ear. "What? What is it Jack?" I ask quickly. I secretly wonder what the fuck he's waiting for. I want him. I need hi, now. "I don't have any condoms." He admits. Fuck! I had left my purse in the coat check room, which of course was filled with the latex-protective-barriers. "I didn't bring any with me, I mean, I figured I was going to a gay bar, so I wouldn't need them," Jack explains. Now, I feel like a jackass, but I don't care anymore. "How many people have you slept with?" I question, hoping that the answer is somewhere along the lines of "not many" and that he is being truthful. It is, and I am elated. "Only three. I know you probably don't believe me, but I don't get out much, and when I do, it's not often that I feel such an intense need to have someone as I have with you tonight. It's quite unusual, actually, but from the first moment I saw you, I knew I had to have you. You have to be mine." I can feel heat filling my face as I blush so that only the brick wall in front of me can see._

"_So, just how many people has a beautiful woman such as you slept with?" He quickly returns the question. _

"_Well, I am bisexual, so my total count is five; three men and two women." I answer honestly._

"_Hmm…well, are you on any birth control?" _

"_Yes, I take the pill daily." _

"_Well, that's good enough for me. How about you? I swear I'm disease free."_

"_I know; I trust you. I am too, I promise you."_

_With that we continue our tryst. His breath is back on my neck, biting me as he whispers in my ear again, "Are you ready for me, my sweet Seren? I promise I won't be too rough…unless you want me to, that is." _

"_Oh God, please be as rough as possible Jack. I want to be sore for days afterward."_

_I know he is smiling against my neck as he nestles the head of his cock against my freshly wetted lips. I feel him push up and into me, groaning as we are finally joined together, beginning his rhythm of going in and out of me. I can't help but moan his name loudly and wonder how I have gone so long without having this delicious Mr. Jack Napier on my to-do list. He rides me from behind harder and harder, pushing in deeper with each stroke, coaxing new sounds I didn't even know existed from the primal side of my being. The rolling waves of my orgasm start to begin again, and I can't help but utter "Faster Jack, faster!" or "Harder, harder!" as I begin nearing closer to the edge. He stops, pausing to tease me further. "Please, don't stop Jack! I can't take it any longer. I need you to let me come. Please!" I beg like never before, and it's not long before he's back inside me. He thrusts harder and faster now and the rolling begins again. I come suddenly, my juices seeping out onto his cock as he groans one final time, spilling his seed inside me before collapsing into the crook of my neck. He is panting in my ear, and we are both breathing hard in unison, covered in musky sweat and post-orgasmic bliss. He kisses my temple, and we begin to put our costumes back on. _

_We walk back into the club hand in hand, stealing smirks at each other as we work our way back in to the crowd that is the dancing audience. Not having our phones on us, he writes his number down on my hand, and I too ink his hand with my contact information._

"_Old school; I like it." I say grinning._

"_Well I like you!" He replies, cheesiness oozing out of every pore._

_An hour later, Jack and I trade promises of an actual date with no alcohol induced sex involved, and we seal the night with a half-drunk kiss._ _I catch a cab home, alone. Not that I didn't want to continue our escapade throughout the night and into the early hours of dawn, but hey, a girl's gotta work. I see my dress-blues hanging up deep within my closet, wrapped in their protective garment bag, and I know that tomorrow will be a long day._

About a month and a half later is when all the throwing up began. Along with this came the constant need for me to be within two feet of a toilet or sink, unless I wanted to risk ruining yet another cute outfit with my not-so-cute bile. Jack and I had been out on several dates since that night, and I was beginning to really like him. I began to like more than just his body; I got lucky that he had a wonderful personality to boot. We hadn't had sex since that first night, mostly due to the fact that we just didn't have time. Jack and I both worked full time, so our dates came mostly in between calls from work during the few precious hours we had off which overlapped. Working the beat wasn't easy, and I'd already missed too many days from being so sickly lately. I had figured I just had some sort of bad stomach flu until now. I realized I'd forgotten to buy tampons. This was a normal thing for me, forgetting them, but this time I'd forgotten them because I hadn't needed them. There was nothing happening to remind me to get them. My eyes grew wide with shock for a few seconds, and I raced across my tiny one bedroom apartment to my birth control pills. "FUCK!" I shouted loudly. I realized that instead of taking the actually pills during the week I'd had sex with Jack, I had taken the placebo pills you're only supposed to take when you're on your period. I would call myself an idiot, except for the fact that the one shitty little Pharmacy near my apartment barely distinguished those pills from the normal ones I was supposed to take. In previous months I was barely able to tell the difference between the two back then as well, due to their two colors being either white or off white (aka white or fucking white.)

I quickly dialed Jack's number, scared out of my mind. "Hey Jack, it's Seren. Listen, I need you to take me to the Store right now. Just trust me, you're gonna want to be the one to take me and be with me right now. I'll explain everything when you get here."

Jack arrived quickly in his four door black Sedan. He opened the front door to his car for me, as I shakily got inside. I immediately explained everything that had happened recently, from the supposed stomach bug I thought I had, to the birth control pill mix up, to the lack of blood between my thighs. He gulped quickly in response and said nothing as we speedily drove to the store to pick up the dreaded purple and gray "First-Response" box. I swiped the package from the aisle as soon as we arrived at the store, and Jack hastily paid for it at the register. The clerk was an old woman who looked back and forth between us. Her hair was the color of dishwater, and her voice sounded like she had swallowed an entire package of sandpaper whole. Her nametag read "Marge" and I could just tell she was going to give us Hell by the way she clutched at the golden cross on her neck like a man holding on to a life saver out at sea. She stares at our lack of wedding rings on our fingers, and cruelly says, "You're not married, are you?" and continues to beadily glare at us. "No, we're not, but we're engaged." Jack quickly lies. She simply continues to glare idiotically while ringing up our single item of purchase. Jack takes out his wallet and quietly slips her the money while I snatch up our plastic bag and dash out the door toward the car. Jack follows, catching up to me and grabbing for my hand as soon as he does.

By the time he reaches me, tears are streaming down my face. I am not ready for this. I am barely twenty-five, and Jack is only older than me by a few months. He turns me toward him and puts his hand under my chin, tilting my face upward so that I'm looking into his eyes.

"Hey," he says, "it will be alright, Seren. It really will, love. I'm not worried about what's going to happen. If you're not pregnant, then we'll just be more careful next time, and if you are, then we'll deal with that when the time comes." He comforts me and pulls my head into his chest, lightly stroking my hair as I sob into him, soaking his jacket with fresh tears.

As soon as we get home, I rush to the bathroom. I practically drank my weight in water before we left, so that I would be able to pee as soon as we got the pregnancy test. I sat down and put the vile pee-stick between my legs while I did my business. I flushed the toilet and placed the test face down on the counter. I didn't want to know the results for now. It would take a few minutes for the answer to appear, anyhow. I stared in the grimy, cracked shard of polished glass my landlord was convinced was a mirror. My eyes were red and puffy rings around their natural blue hue, while my face was streaked with dried mascara and tear stains. My shiny auburn locks reached down below my chest, and they curled nicely at the ends into full spirals. I splashed cold water on my face as I heard Jack knock on the door.

"Seren," He called, "are you alright? What did the test say?"

"I haven't looked at it yet." I replied, and sank down to the floor to lean against the cabinet under the sink.

Jack walked in, opening the door slowly and taking in the scene before him. Anxiously, he picked up the test. A big smile broke out across his face, and a tear slipped out of his left eye.

"What? What is it Jack?" I asked hastily.

"Seren…you're pregnant." He answered me just as quickly.

"Are you serious?" I snatched the test from him and read the indicator key to the left of the test screen.

One line meant negative. Two lines meant positive. Two light blue lines lit up the otherwise blank test screen, indicating I indeed was pregnant. I immediately broke out into sobs accompanied by a fountain of tears.

"Oh Jack, what are we going to do? We're not even married! I mean, I don't know if I can do this; I don't know if I'm ready to be a Mom!" I cried at him.

"Don't worry Seren, I've already thought about this. I want you to keep this baby. I want to keep our baby. I want to be with you and help you raise it, and the best way I can think of doing that is by asking you, well, Seren Grace Ainsley, will do me the wonderful honor of marrying me?" Jack asked with all sincerity.

"Jack… I don't know. I don't want you to think you have to ask me to marry you just because I'm pregnant with your child. I want you to ask me to marry you because you want to, not because you feel you have to." I shakily answered him.

"Seren, these last months with you have been the best I've ever had. I've finally found someone who gets me, someone who completes me; my other half. That's you. You complete me, Seren, and I want to spend every day of the rest of my life trying to complete you."

"Are you sure you're not just trying to be the 'stand-up guy' by doing 'the right thing?'"

"Yes Seren, I'm sure. I wouldn't be here if I didn't want to be. I wouldn't be here if I didn't want you, and I wouldn't be here if I didn't want this baby. Even if you hadn't gotten pregnant, I'm pretty sure somewhere down the road I would have asked you to marry me, because I know you're the one for me."

Two months later, with some hasty planning, Jack and I were married. My ever-growing baby bump was barely visible under the white lace of my wedding dress, but those who were close to us knew it was there. Four weeks after our Honeymoon, I had what would become one of the best moments of my life. That was the day Jack and I went to the ultrasound which told us I was carrying a boy, his son. Jack was elated, and I was overjoyed that I would be having a son, whose name we decided would be Chase Hunter Napier.

But, back to reality. The interrogation room of GCPD. Detective Bullshit eyed me greedily as he watched me smoking my now almost-out cigarette. I inhaled deeply, and exhaled the grey exhaust directly into his stupid smug face. That turned his frown upside down again pretty quickly, much to my delight.

"So Detective Johns, what would you like to know?" I asked, blowing smoke rings above his head.

"Why did you do it, Seren?"

"Why did I do what, partner?"

"Why did you kill him?"

"Kill who?'

"Don't get cute with me, Ainsley."

"I thought that was why you were eyeing me so… 'intensely' is the word I'll use here. Don't want another sexual harassment claim on your jacket, now do we, Partner? You were eyeing me so intensely because of how 'cute' I apparently am to you."

"Shut the fuck up, Ainsley. Don't talk about things you know nothing about."

"Things I know nothing about, Johns? Are you fucking kidding me? I was the one who had to sit with those girls, who were sure you were the one who repeatedly harassed them, and convince them otherwise. So don't tell me I don't know that I'm talking about. I saved your ass enough times to more than just know what I'm talking about, Phillip."

"I think we're done here, Ainsley." With that, Detective Johns stood up and grabbed the door handle to exit.

"So you really want to know, huh? You're really that curious, Johns?" That halted him.

"You wouldn't be here cuffed if I wasn't, Ainsley." He replied. He slowly sat down again.

"Ah, I suppose that's true." I smarted.

"Why'd you do it, Ainsley?" He asked again.

"Why'd I do what, Johns?" I repeated.

"Why did you kill the Joker?"

There it was. The question I'd been waiting for this whole time. The thought that had been looming over both of our heads while I smoked my cigarette down to its last ashes.

"Well first Johns, you know, I gotta ask _you_ a question before I answer that."

"Oh yeah? And just what would that question be, _Ainsley_?" he hastily questioned.

"Why… So…Serious?"

At this, I burst into a fit of laughter and erupted into giggles, at which point Detective Johns stood up, sighed, and with a final glance at my crazed form, slammed the door to the interrogation room shut.


End file.
